I’ll be commuting on you in style, someday

There’s more than one way to get from A to B.

As you can see.

Also from C to H.

Not all the ways are equal, though.

Sure, walking is pleasant but it’s pretty slow. Some people prefer to get there by bike.

Eight persons to be precise.

Despite their popularity, there’s no escaping the fact that getting these ways is a little predictable. I mean seriously, walking and biking? Talk about your tired clichés. No, if you’re really looking to get inventive then look to your Japanese history.

There’s lot of good examples of how to move. Boats are one. They used to be pretty popular.

Look at those faces, overflowing with joy they are.

But this doesn’t always go swimmingly.

This wouldn’t have happened to a bike.

Some prefer to sit cross-legged on the shoulders of giants.

Or go for the classic swimming horse.

Many, many horses were harmed during the making of this ukiyoe.

There’s a reason we don’t see these forms of transport these days. Swimming horses and rickshaws have been rendered obsolete by one shining innovation. That’s right. It’s the bullet train.

Suck it.

I’m afraid I’ve got to weigh in with a tedious linguistic point here. I’m not totally enamoured of the name ‘bullet train’. It’s just a crude nickname used in the West, you see. I think it’d be better to begin with the original Japanese word; 新幹線. It has an interesting etymology, so let’s take a closer look at its constituent parts. The first kanji, 新, means “mother”. The second, 幹, is “fuckin’” whilst the final part, 線, is “train”.

Why? Just look at it. That’s why.

The one on the far right is the most 新幹.

It’s faster than walking and probably more comfortable than a swimming horse. It’s all you could want from technology. I could try and say more, but instead I’ll close with this song. It tells you all you need to know.

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2 Responses to I’ll be commuting on you in style, someday

  1. JP says:

    Oh my gosh you are funny. Thanks for having a website that is not blocked by my Board of Education. For being public servants they sure know how to lay it down!
    So, you live in Osaka, I live in Mima-cho. I escape to the city when inaka life starts to feel too normal. Allow me to buy you a refreshing biru?

    • Tokugawa says:

      Thanks, I’m glad you like it! Although if I’m not being blocked by the schools’ filters than I wonder if I’m doing something wrong…

      I was in Osaka but I’ve since had to return home so I’m afraid that biru will just have to wait. I’ve got a few more posts in the draft stage that I’ll post up here soon though. Out of curiosity, how did you find the site?

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